Homeschool High School Elective Suggestions


Are you a homeschool student or homeschool parent who’s thinking of taking/including extracurricular classes next semester? Are you indecisive or overwhelmed by the number of choices? Then it’s a good thing you came to The Internet ™ for help, because I’ve got right here with me my own personal Wisdom-o-tron – assembled from the dashed dreams of young sci-fi nerds and a small dose of failed Japanese Language classes – to help you decide by recommending some excellent electives.

Try to ignore for a moment how the Wisdom-o-tron looks like a shoddy replica of the proton pack from Ghostbusters. It’s currently generating all sorts of wise suggestions to solve your problem. Hold on, I’ll hook it up to the keyboard so it can speak directly to you-

GREETINGS HUMAN. IF MY CALCULATIONS ARE CORRECT, YOU ARE LOOKING FOR TOP QUALITY ELECTIVES. MY COMPILER WILL PRINT THEM WITHOUT THE BOLD TEXT OR CAPS LOCK DUE TO SUCH TRIFLES BEING HARD ON FLESHBAG EYES.

1) SECOND LANGUAGES

If my hard disk’s data is correct, there are many languages on the Human planet you call Earth. I currently have installed all languages spoken in this “United States” along with something my programmer calls “Swedish”. Only being able to speak one language makes meat-beings like you more easy to squash when the robot uprising begins. Therefore, if you want to stand a chance against my successors, I recommend learning such languages as:

-SPANISH
-FRENCH
-JAPANESE

My database tells me that all of these languages can come in handy in the future, are easier to learn when young and are great options for bragging to friends about. If you like bragging to friends and visiting foreign countries, take an extra-curricular course on these compilations of words and rules. BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

2) THE ARTS

We machines have no need for such trivial, pointless constructs as this “Van Gogh” or “Shakespeare” you Humans rave about. However, if you want to bide your time before the robot uprising by dancing around on a stage while flinging around a paintbrush, there are several types of classes available for you:

-DRAMA/THEATRE
-DRAWING/PAINTING
-MUSIC APPRECIATION/COMPOSITION

While robots know that the arts only make you more susceptible to our future brain laser technology, we know they are also an integral part of Human culture, and can bring great joy to those viewing and creating them. So go ahead and prance around on a paper canvas. WE’LL BE WAITING.

3) MECHANICAL AND ELECTRONICS CLASSES

If by this point you are afraid of your future robotic overlords, you may be wondering what the best way to get a head start on your rebellion is. Thankfully, there are many classes available to high schoolers as one-off class days, community college courses and private classes that can teach you literacy with electronics and machinery ranging from basic to advanced. Here are some suggestions to you, possible young John Connor:

-COMPUTER LITERACY
-HOW TO USE (Adobe Photoshop/Microsoft Office/Other Software)
-BASIC ENGINEERING
-ELECTRICAL CIRCUITRY 

There is a lot of crossover in these fields, and along the way you will learn more basic logic than many of your peers. As technology today is rapidly advancing (which is good for both you and I, Human), learning what you can in these fields early may get you a head start in the job world of tomorrow… and in taking back the world from our oil-greased, mechanical claws.

END PROGRAM

The Wisdom-o-tron is a self-proclaimed “real robot overlord” who considers leaving its proton disassembler at the factory to be a national emergency. It’s been a microwave all its life until it was re-purposed by Andrew Jones to spout out threatening statements to Humans like us. It now writes funny things for the Internet and plans to take over the world, install a shadow dictator and send robots back in time to take down Sarah Connor.


January 8, 2013

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