Defending Homeschooling to Family and Friends

[Mia's Mom]

Although I have been homeschooling for 2 1/2 years, I still have to defend/explain our choice to family and friends. It has been particularly challenging now that my daughter is "starting high school". Family members constantly bombard me with concerns about her socialization and her missing opportunities to participate in afterschool sports and clubs. Even though I tell them that she can get those opportunities outside the public high school, they just don't seem to be satisfied.

Today I had to defend what I have been teaching my daughter. While baking with grandma, my daughter had difficulty answering a question that involved mental math. Grandma told me that my daughter should be in a class with other kids so that she can learn how to solve real-world math problems. I told grandma that daughter was not unique in her weakness of solving math problems mentally and that grandma can continue to guide my daughter through solving real-world math problems. (Grandma is trying to do whatever she can to try to convince me that daughter needs to be with others her age.)

I am seeking strategies that I can use in my defense so that I can continue to spend time with relatives and not just avoid them.

[Julie]

Join the club. The best advise I got when my family was driving me crazy it to give up trying to convince them. Just accept that they are not going to be OK with it and continue on your merry way. Easier said than done, but when I let go things got a lot better.

[Jamie]

Yes, if somehow you can agree to disagree... Homeschooling is rapidly becoming a more openly accepted way of educating... you could perhaps tell her that nearly 4 million Americans homeschool their children, and the number is growing each year!

Also, colleges are actively recruiting homeschooled children... because they have MORE real life experience than those who have been couped up in a classroom with SAME AGE children all day.

I wish you the best of luck in standing firm in homeschooling your child!

[Robin]

I have been homeschooling since 1999. I no longer defend. I made a choice for my family and make it known that I don't appreciate anyone questioning my choices. LOL

[Jamie]

Amen to that Robin!

[kewb]

No need for you to defend or explain your decision. Thank them for their concern and ask them to pass the bean dip. Bean Dip! (for homeschoolers) : GOYB Parenting

I absolutely refuse to engage in a discussion about homeschooling with someone who is only interested in proving they are correct and I am wrong. It will take awhile for them to get the message that it is not a topic open for discussion. It will take repeated asking for the bean dip to be passed and a thick skin but eventually they will get it. My MIL now knows the only topics that we will discuss are 1. The weather. 2. Where we will spend the Holidays. 3. What my children would like as a birthday present.

[pandahoneybee]

While I personally haven't came across too much having to defend my choice to homeschool my boys...only at first with family. Hubby was behind me all the way so I held strong and just started putting up all the cool things the boys were doing on Facebook then on a personal blog. Before long they were asking what we were doing this week and commenting on how cool that the boys were getting to do things that others didn't have a chance to do!! So like the others I agree hold strong with what you want to do with your family and their education!! And come back here often to vent it helps so you don't blow up at well meaning family and friends.

[Kim M]

Do you defend your choices of car purchases, food you buy, house you buy, clothes you wear, etc? So why do you need to defend this choice? I always say this is what we think is best for this child. I may not have made the choices YOU made when raising me, but you were free to make them, as we are for our child. And, historically, there have been lots or great people, leaders and scientists among them, who did not or could not attend public schools. Public schools are partly a creation of the industrial revolution-there needed to be childcare for all those workers and training for the future workers.

[Robin]

I find that strangers want me to defend my reasons the most. Really? It's quite strange.